Striding onto the Philadelphia stage resplendent in a white pants suit like a heavenly sent business bride walking down the aisle to tie the knot with America, Chelsea’s mom jettisoned the “presumptive” and accepted the Democratic Party’s invitation to become their nominee in the 2016 race for the Presidency of the United States. And contrary to prior dire warnings, the gates of hell did not open up. While red, white and blue balloons bounced off their heads, the crowd at the Wells Fargo Center cheered the former First Lady, former US Senator from the state of New York, former Secretary of State, former female, former human… Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, for finally breaking the glass ceiling. Beware of falling shards. Unfortunately, in order to accomplish this monumental achievement, the person President Obama called the most qualified to ever run for the office was forced to morph into a political cyborg, with not a organic, carbon-based bone left in her body. She’s Robo-Candidate with gears grinding so hard when she speaks, aides carry WD-40 in their backpacks. The festivities got off to a rocky start with Bernie Sanders’ legion of supporters booing every speaker that dared mention the name of his evil vanquisher. The Bernie or Bust contingent was so harsh, when the Vermont Senator endorsed the nominee they booed HIM. That’s strict. Apparently there was a competition to see which of Bernie Sanders’ supporters was the Berniest and alas, Senator Sanders was disqualified in an early round.  The miscreants were so adamant they forced Debbie Wasserman Schultz, the chair of the DNC to step down before the convention began. She couldn’t finish speaking in front of a Florida state breakfast meeting, and when you’re booed off the stage by your own delegation, that’s not good. No, I looked it up. That’s not good.