Acknowledged by peers and press alike as one of the premier political satirists in the country, Will Durst has patched together a comedy quilt of a career, weaving together columns, books, radio and television commentaries, acting, voice overs and most especially, stand up comedy, into a hilarious patchwork of outraged and outrageous common sense. His abiding motto is “You can’t make stuff up like this." The New York Times calls him "possibly the best political comic in the country." Fox News agrees "he's a great political satirist," while the Oregonian hails him as a “hilarious stand-up journalist.” This former radio talk host, oyster shucker, and margarine smuggler currently writes a nationally syndicated humor column, and his scribblings have appeared in Esquire, George, the San Francisco Chronicle, National Lampoon, The New York Times and scads of other periodicals.
As it appears we’re smack dab in the middle of the 2016 presidential campaign announcement season, this might be the perfect time to ask the question on every American’s lips: what kind of twisted psychopath chooses to do this? Who are these people that are so all fired up to enter this soul-sucking fray just to sit in an Office that is Oval? Masochists? Sadists? Sadomasochists? Masosadochists? Folks who didn’t pay attention during any previous election?
As we ravenous hounds of the media descend like quadrennial locusts on the plucky pioneers making their early intentions known, the public is entitled to know what kind of flippo-unit willingly volunteers to sell their soul and ditch their family for the chance to become a human sound byte and eat crap food for 18 months. Who in their right mind would desire to be President? Aye, there’s the rub. The right mind part. Reinforcing a belief that anybody who wants to be president- shouldn’t be.
Can’t be the power. Buffeted by the winds of domestic, foreign and intergalactic fate, a president is as effective as a weatherman in an outhouse hit by a tornado. Running for POTUS is an exercise in doomed futility. Like applying for the job of lion tamer knowing they’re going to take away your clothes, whip and chair, paint dashes around your neck, and hang a sign that says, “bite here.”
It’s got to be the perks. In order to compensate for all this dismal malarkey, the fringe benefits must be pretty darn sweet. After intensive investigation, we here at Durstco have discovered the Top Eleven Reasons Why Being President is So Darn Cool. Why 11? Because it’s 10% funnier than 10, that’s why.
11. Not only are your driving days over, but you’ll never sweat a red light again. Don’t want to wear a seat belt? Don’t.
10. A cool $400,000 a year salary. About the same as a mid-level porn producer. Although, if Carly Fiorina or Hillary Clinton wins, we only have to pay them 77%, or $308,000.
Coming to a Theatre near you! Will Durst’s acclaimed tribute to the history, growth, joys, achievements, frustrations, fashions and looming doom of the Baby Boom Generation. Ably assisted by his trusty overhead projector, Durst explores the Boomers’ revolutions, evolutions and still vibrant role in today’s youth-obsessed society, which they invented, for crum’s sake. It’s a celebration of the maturation of the Boomer Nation and as an extra, added, special treat- the Meaning of Life.
Special Note: Due to the graphic nature and startlingly archaic technology, children under the age of 40 will not
be admitted unless accompanied by a guardian or bring a note.
We apologize for any inconvenience.