Be very careful, because it’s getting crazy out there. You don’t want to end up collateral damage accidentally straying into the path of the newest dance craze sweeping the Republican Party. Closely related to the St. Vitus Dance, it is characterized by rapid, uncoordinated jerky movements and commonly referred to as the Donald Trump Two-Step. It’s pretty simple really: swing your arms back and forth, take one step forward, turn right, turn righter, take one step back. And repeat. Kind of like the Twist meets the Mexican Hat Dance meets the Hokey Pokey, with a heavy emphasis on the Pokey. The goal is a lot of movement without any discernable directional advancement. There’s an election coming up, and the threat of a Blue Wave is spooking conservatives like cobwebs in a closet with the lights out after midnight. So this spasmodic twitching is the direct result of pressure being applied from behind as well as the front, the left, the right, the in and the out. Candidates are suffering from the dreaded Trump Sandwich Effect. The dilemma is whether to be caught in a clinch, slow-dancing with the president, which works in some red districts or to waltz away so far, the Chief-Executive can’t even be seen due to the curvature of the earth– the norm in almost every swing district. There’s a third option, the stutter-step of trying to have it both ways leading to the tortured choreography that a passing priest might describe as demonic possession. This is a problem similar to what Democratic office-seekers experience with Nancy Pelosi. The difference being, she rumbas a little more under the radar. Unfortunately the president thinks he’s John Travolta and can’t help discoing into every single spotlight event whether he’s asked to or not, including hurricanes.