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1st Ammendment Jester Hat
Saturday, December 13, 2014 • VOL. LXiI NO. 51
4 Stars
Comedy for People Who read or Know Someone Who Does Acknowledged by peers and press alike as one of the premier political satirists in the country, Will Durst has patched together a comedy quilt of a career, weaving together columns, books, radio and television commentaries, acting, voice overs and most especially, stand up comedy, into a hilarious patchwork of outraged and outrageous common sense. His abiding motto is “You can’t make stuff up like this." The New York Times calls him "possibly the best political comic in the country." Fox News agrees "he's a great political satirist," while the Oregonian hails him as a “hilarious stand-up journalist.” This former radio talk host, oyster shucker, and margarine smuggler currently writes a nationally syndicated humor column, and his scribblings have appeared in Esquire, George, the San Francisco Chronicle, National Lampoon, The New York Times and scads of other periodicals.
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Elect to Laugh!
A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics
New e-Book Available Instantly
What's News
Dec 26 - Jan 3
Big Fat Year
End Kiss Off
Comedy Show XXII
December 26
Bankhead Theater
Livermore Valley Performing Arts Center
2400 First Street
Livermore, CA
$20/$25/$30
8 pm
925.373.6800
December 27
Lesher Theater
Lesher Center for the Arts
1601 Civic Drive
Walnut Creek, CA
$25 Adult
$22 Senior-Student
8 pm
925.943.7469
December 28
Freight & Salvage
Coffeehouse
2020 Addison Street
Berkeley, CA
$21 Advance
$23 Door
8 pm
510.644.2020
December 29
Hopmonk Tavern
224 Vintage Way
Novato, CA
$25
8 pm
415.892.6200
December 30
Martinez
Campbell Theater
636 Ward Street
Martinez, CA
$25
8 pm
925.350.9770
December 31
San Jose
Stage Company
490 S 1st Street
San Jose, CA
7 pm $40
10 pm $50 - includes champagne &
interactive balloon drop
408.283.7142
January 1
142 Throckmorton Theatre
Mill Valley, CA
$22 Advance
$25 Door
8 pm
415.383.9600
January 2
Coastal
Repertory Theatre
1167 Main Street
Half Moon Bay, CA
$30
8 pm
650.726.0998
January 3
Rhythmix
Cultural Works
2513 Blanding Avenue
Alameda, CA
$25 Advance
$27 Door
8 pm
510.865.5060


* Private Gig





Title of this Week's Durst Case Scenario If you believe the recently released Senate Intelligence Committee torture report, you might be tempted to conclude that the CIA lied to the press and the public and to Congress about the extent and effectiveness of its torture campaign. And that conclusion would be correct, sir. And the amazing thing is people are amazed.
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Yes. Of course the CIA lies. That’s what they do. Lying and cheating and stealing are its total and complete job description. Glance at their listing on the civil service careers website: “fluid interpretation of situational morality required.” That’s why when old CIA guys retire they go to work as oil industry lobbyists or Hollywood publicists.
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The CIA lied. Wow. What the next big revelation: Fire is hot? The New York Philharmonic is musically inclined? Shia LaBoeuf is bug suck crazy? Scorpions make lousy pre school pets? Contracting dysentery is a lousy career move? Tiramisu is tasty?
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One thing you got to give our beleaguered spy agency; they are on the cutting edge in the use of creative euphemisms. In their world, “sleep management” means refusing to let someone sleep, possibly for more than a week, and “special rendition” means kidnapping people right off the street. Like an involuntary Uber ride. If Uber made passengers wear ankle manacles and black bags over their heads.
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The cute term for torture itself: “enhanced interrogation techniques,” is borrowed from the Nazis, who preferred: “refined interrogation techniques.” And whenever you hear someone stealing tactics from the Nazis, that’s not good.
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The report even gives us new and original verbal obfuscations. The phrase “rectal feeding” means to stick a tube up someone’s butt with actual food not necessarily involved and a consistent pattern of lying is now referred to as: “imprecise representations.”
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That’s what current CIA chief, John Brennan says occurred. He went on to stress “we did some things right.” Yeah. And the husband who poisoned his wife’s breakfast...
BoomeRaging:
From LSD to OMG
BoomeRagingComing to a Theatre near you! Will Durst’s acclaimed tribute to the history, growth, joys, achievements, frustrations, fashions and looming doom of the Baby Boom Generation. Ably assisted by his trusty overhead projector, Durst explores the Boomers’ revolutions, evolutions and still vibrant role in today’s youth-obsessed society, which they invented, for crum’s sake. It’s a celebration of the maturation of the Boomer Nation and as an extra, added, special treat- the Meaning of Life.
Special Note: Due to the graphic nature and startlingly archaic technology, children under the age of 40 will not
be admitted unless accompanied
by a guardian or bring a note.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
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